Susan is having a bit of a rant. I am smiling openly as I listen to her. She’s been coming to therapy sessions with me for over a year now and we have ‘a close and established therapeutic alliance’, as we’d say in therapy land. In other words, we like and respect each other a lot.
‘I know you’re going to think I’ve lost the plot’ she says, ‘but I decided after our last session to shave my fanny’. I throw her a raised eyebrow look and she say ‘Alright, alright! I know you talk about vulvas and vaginas but for me this is my fanny, and of course I mean the outside bit! Bloody hell … I shaved my pubes off’.
‘Before you ask why …. I’ll tell you’, she continue, wagging her finger at me.
‘For a start, it’s not as easy as it looks. My Lady Shaver didn’t get me very far I can tell you, so I used a special disposable razor … got it from Amazon, specially designed for fannies apparently’.
‘For women of my age (Susan is in her 50’s) pubes were normal … they ARE normal! And I’ve never given mine a second thought. The husband doesn’t care about me having hair. Well, he’s never said as such …. and he’d be in trouble if he did! He has pubes, I have pubes .. the end’.
‘However, as you know, girls and women shave everything off these days. It’s like pubes are illegal or something. So I decided I’d see what all the fuss is about.’
‘For a start, it’s not as easy as it looks. My Lady Shaver didn’t get me very far I can tell you, so I used a special disposable razor … got it from Amazon, specially designed for fannies apparently’.
She pauses to catch the smile that she knew I’d have in response to the idea of razors being marketed especially for fannies.
‘Getting the hair off the front is one thing. Sorting out the under carriage is quite another. Took me over an hour. Who the hell has the time for this kind of thing? My neck was cricked by that point I have to tell you. All that looking down, concentrating and trying not to cut myself! What a bloody palaver!’
‘Well, when I finally got it to the stage of it looking bare, and not like a stubbly cleft chin, I had a look in my big mirror …. I can’t say I was convinced by the look of it. Very odd to see it bare after all of these years. I thought it would feel smooth but it doesn’t really. That was surprising and very annoying after all of that work! So far so not at all impressed!’
‘I thought I’d give the husband a treat and asked him if he’d like a look. She was up for it … of course he was … any chance to get jiggy and he’s there like the grateful little puppy dog that he is, bless him. He was fascinated. Entranced! But when we started getting down to it, I hated it. His fingers caught on my skin rather than everything feeling soft like before. Talk about anti climax .. literally!’
‘And now, a few weeks on, I’ve got itchy stubble to deal with. Not much fun trying to secretly scratch your vag on the tube I can tell you. AND ..’ she says in a last flourish ‘don’t get me started on how sweaty it now feels!’ She pulls a disgust face for added emphasis.
‘You know what Julie’ Susan says to me ‘You need to tell all your young women clients that they don’t know what they are missing when they shave their pubes off. I really miss mine. Sex is scratchy and flipping annoying at the moment. I can’t wait for it to grow back’.
Many a wise word has come from women like our Susan and, hilarity aside, her experience of shaving off her public hair says a lot.
Pubic hair serves a purpose. As Susan discovered, it provides protection against friction. It reduces the amount of sweat produced around the vagina and it helps to regulate body temperature . It also helps protect the vagina from the bacteria and infections such as sexually transmitted infections, urinary tract infections and yeast infections. It really is NOT more hygienic to remove pubic hair.
Fashion wins of course, and I don’t expect anything to change any time soon on the subject of shaving pubic hair. I’m just sharing Susan’s wisdom, because women like Susan are wise!
Note: Susan is a fictional character and nothing shared in this piece is material for my actual client work.
